Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
