tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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