I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
