pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
