i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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