Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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