are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
