she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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