I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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