I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You need Xanax blowdarts
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize