i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
