Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
