I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
