I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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