just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
