I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
