I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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