Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
