So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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