it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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