Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
