so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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