I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she smelled like a LAN party
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
