And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
