her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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