i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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