White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
