apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
