At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
