It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
