i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
