This is not my ceiling
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
