hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
