And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
