it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
