I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
