Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
