I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
