For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
