thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
