You work out of a Hotel?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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