pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
