i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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