physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
