would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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