Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
