I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize