How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
