dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize