I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
