The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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