i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
