she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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