i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
