and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
