i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
