She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I just went to clothing optional bar
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
