I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
