you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize