I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
