Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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