They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
