Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
