____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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