apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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