I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
