Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
